


Broken Appreciation

by orphan_account



Category: Watership Down - Richard Adams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:46:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9196619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Blackavar can't thank Thlayli enough; not then and certainly not now.





	

_“The council were merciful. The council were merciful.”_

Blackavar’s voice is strained. There’s no more meaning behind his words; they don’t sound like anything, not even to him. Captain Chervil comes past with that arrogant smirk on his face to tease the poor rabbit as much as he can. He tells Blackavar to keep his ears straighter, even though he knows that he no longer has much left of his ears. The limp remainder of his ears have been damaged beyond repair. Blackavar curls his claws into the dirt and grits his teeth.

When he first sees Thlayli approach, he thinks the worst. It’s a new Owsla officer, he thinks wearily. But when he looks again, he can see concern that Thlayli has. Captain Chervil snaps his teeth threateningly at Blackavar as he approaches.

“The council were merciful.”

Captain Chervil growls lowly. He can tell that Blackavar is tired, and Blackavar shies away and closes his eyes tightly. He shivers under the heated glare of all the Owslafa watching. He musters up the rest of his courage and swallows his fear. The taste makes him sick.

“T-The council were merciful..! The council were…”

Captain Chervil smirks triumphantly and lifts his head and awaits praise. Thlayli doesn’t say a word. He hardly dares to breathe and instead curses under his breath in disgust. Not one of the Owslafa hear him, but the broken buck with a shattered spirit and no hope left in him does.

-

Thlayli tells Blackavar that he’s going to be free.

_Why?_

Thlayli shrugs. Because he wants to is his answer. Blackavar struggles with this answer long after Thlayli leaves. What does he have to gain by taking a chance to try and free a bruised rabbit who’s been beaten one too many times? Blackavar can’t comprehend what this stranger thinks he has to offer. He gets cuffed over the head when he’s too lost in thought to answer any of the officers. Blackavar thought he’d be used to their tyranny by now, but he was wrong.

-

The officers scorn him. One of them who Blackavar hadn’t bothered to learn the name of is always telling him that he’s going to be there until the day he dies. Another tells him to give up. Captain Campion comes past occasionally and sits there in silence, watching. Every time Blackavar slouches even the slightest, he gets scratched across the face. Captain Campion _orders_ him to look him in the eyes.

Because of this, Blackavar is always on edge. When he shows up to silflay, he can’t look any doe in the eye. Partly because he’s embarrassed to be seen as he is, and partly because he doesn’t want to scare anyone with the fear that he knows can be seen in his eyes.

Nobody except the Owslafa are allowed to speak to him, but sometimes Hyzenthlay creeps up beside him when they aren’t looking. She speaks in a soft voice, like one would to a child who was scared of a thunderstorm. She tells him that Thlayli has a plan, a warren, and a bird.

Blackavar isn’t sure which is more surprising.

-

_How are we flying?_

A foolish thought enters his head. He’s tired and sore and he isn’t sure if he’s thinking correctly. Like the other Efrafan rabbits, he huddles close to the corner and awaits Thlayli’s command. He can hear some of Thlayli’s rabbits ask him something, but he’s too tired and too sore to answer. The boat that they are sitting on hits a rough patch of water and some of the does squeal with fear. A soft voice, totally different from Hyzenthlay’s, speaks out of the shadows. One of Thlayli’s rabbits is comforting the does. He speaks about a story of El-ahrairah. Blackavar snorts and rolls his eyes at the childish story, but he listens because he’s shivering with fear and he needs to calm himself before anyone notices.

-

Watership Down is the loveliest place Blackavar’s ever seen.

It’s not cold and foreboding like Efrafa. It’s sunny and bright. Whenever he has nothing to do, he watches the butterflies flutter around, or watches the clouds roll across the bright blue sky. He believes that he could happily spend the rest of his life sitting in the open, doing nothing but rolling in the lush grass all day long.

Thlayli and Hazel-rah come up beside him. Hazel-rah asks him if he’s settling in alright. There’s something about Hazel-rah that Blackavar likes. He always seems to hold his head high with pride, but it’s not at all like any of the Efrafan officers. He has a quiet, refined air to him. Blackavar knows that everyone respects him out of choice and not out of fear.

But Blackavar hesitates to answer Hazel-rah. The Chief Rabbit looks dejected for a mere moment before he realises that Blackavar is looking to Thlayli for approval. Hazel-rah relaxes. He knows none of the Efrafan rabbits have completely settled into the serenity of Watership Down. Many still believe that they still need consent from Thlayli before speaking. Thlayli gives Blackavar an encouraging nod. Hazel-rah can’t help but smile. Thlayli is patient with all the new rabbits.

Blackavar tells Hazel-rah that he’s fine. He tells him that all is well. He tells him that he’s happy. Hazel-rah looks happy. Thlayli looks happy. Blackavar is content.

Hazel-rah gives Blackavar a nod and hops away with Thlayli at his side.

-

Blackavar has always wanted to be a part of the Owsla. Back in Efrafa, he always looked up to his father. His mother was never happy about his aspirations.

_“Ye want to join the Owslafa?” His mother would huff, “An’ join those brabblin’ fools?”_

_Blackavar, still young and imprudent, would nod, “O’ course Ma. Why wouldn’t ye?” The young rabbit smiles and puffs out his chest proudly._

_His mother would then affectionately push herself against her son and mutter on about the Owslafa being ‘rawgabbits and snollygosters’._

But Blackavar is now a part of the Watership Down Owsla. It isn’t oppressive like Efrafa. He likes it. Silver and Holly and Thlayli and Hazel-rah are all glad to have him with them. He watches from a distance as Thlayli recalls the story of General Woundwort to the kittens that sit around him. Blackavar isn’t sure why anyone would want their kittens to know of such atrocities, but to each their own.

For a brief moment, he wonders why nobody else still seems on-edge at the mention of Efrafa. Hyzenthlay and Thethuthinnang have no problem reminiscing about ‘the old days’, and he’s caught Vilthuril describing warren life to Fiver on more than one occasion.

But in the end, he decides that it doesn’t matter.

-

Blackavar’s spirit never healed as much as his wounds did. He curses it on his deathbed.

Thlayli and Holly and Hazel-rah are sitting around him with sad expressions. So much abuse has brought the Black Rabbit sooner than anyone expected. Thlayli tells Blackavar in that soft, patient voice that he’s served well in the Owsla. Your story shall not perish alongside you, Thlayli promises. Holly thanks him for all his help at Watership Down. Hazel-rah can’t find anything to say. Blackavar doesn’t hold it against him.

The Black Rabbit is close. He tells Blackavar his time is almost here. Blackavar is tentative, and softly says he doesn’t want to leave. The Black Rabbit tries to coax him towards the Darkness with the promise of freedom, but Blackavar timidly speaks up once more. He can’t go without permission; that’s not what he was taught.

Thlayli’s voice is softer than ever when he tells Blackavar that he _can_ go. He must’ve spoken it out loud. The idea of eternal freedom is so appealing that Blackavar leaves almost without a second thought.

_Almost._

Blackavar speaks in a breathy whisper. He says that he is happy, and that he will be happy for seasons to come with his memories to guide him into the night.

The Black Rabbit calls again, and Blackavar follows.

Because you must go by the will of The Black Rabbit.


End file.
